Why did the blonde throw butter out a window? She wanted to see a butterfly.

It's better to love a short girl than not a tall.

What is the difference between one yard and two yards?
A fence

A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.

Give me a beer before problems start!

A man walks into a bar and says, "Give me a beer before problems start!" Again, the man orders a beer again saying, "Give me a beer before problems start!" The bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man "When are you going to pay for these beers?" The man answers, "Now the problems start!"

How many sides does a circle have? Two: an inside and an outside.

How do chickens dance? Chick to chick.

Why don't sharks eat divorce lawyers? Professional courtesy.

A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke

I used to like my neighbours, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi.

Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

How do celebrities stay cool?
They have many fans

I'm not offended by dumb blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde.

My girlfriend hates when I make jokes about her weight. She needs to lighten up.

My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.

When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. In a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead.

I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.

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