The latest rumour is that Tiger Woods' wife has decided to divorce him.
Apparently, she realized that once she's single she'll have a better chance of sleeping with Tiger Woods."

Submitted by: Sara

I've got a big mouth

Getting ready for a birthday party we had been invited to, my wife let out a big sigh.
"I hope Sandra from your office isn't there." She said. "She's been saying I'm a rumour-spreader."
"Take no notice, love." I told her.
"You don't think I've got a big mouth, do you?" She asked.
"No sweetheart, not at all." I replied, passing her a third lipstick.

Submitted by: Debra

Rumors get.....
When three women are chatting to each other and one of them leaves.

Submitted by: shannon

spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan


"Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan.
This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate.
I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this.
Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family."
No one moved.
The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression. " Again all was quiet.
Then slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop traffic rose from the third pew.
Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke,
"Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding.
I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan.
I simply told a couple of my friends you were a wizard under the sheets."
The preacher fainted,and the congregation roared.

Submitted by: Bob

There's a rumor that somone may be resigning today

Submitted by: Tom

Paul, it was rumored, possessed ample ability to satisfy any female

A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla.
Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very ornery, and difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat.
To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas available. While reflecting on their problem,
the zoo administrators noticed Paul, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals' cages.
Paul, it was rumored, possessed ample ability to satisfy any female, but he wasn't very bright.
So, the zoo administrators thought they might have a solution. Paul was approached with a proposition:
would he be willing to screw the gorilla for five hundred bucks?
Paul showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.
The following day, Paul announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions.
"First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her. Secondly, I want nothing to do with any offspring that may result from this union."
The zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what was his third condition.
"Well," said Paul, "you've gotta give me another week to come up with the five hundred bucks"

Submitted by: hudson

Rumors?
impressive bitch.
Atleast you're spreading something other than your legs

Submitted by: Rio

Rumor had it that he was marrying

The banker saw his old friend Tom, an old rancher, in town. Tom had lost his wife a year or so before and rumor had it that he was marrying a "mail order" bride. Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was true.
Tom assured him that it was.
The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be.
Tom proudly said,"She'll be thirty-one in November."
Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the sexual appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by an old man. Wanting his old friend's remaining years to be happy the banker tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course.
Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon.
About four months later, the banker ran into Tom in town again. "How's the new wife?", asked the banker.
Tom proudly said, "Good - she's pregnant."
The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued, "And how's the hired hand?"
Without hesitating, Tom said, "She's pregnant too."

Submitted by: Molly

where The rumour come from

Submitted by: Tara

the little bird everyone gets their information from

I was sitting at the bus stop this morning when this midget girl took a seat next to me and started telling me the latest celebrity gossip and some interesting facts
I thought to myself,"this must be the little bird everyone gets their information from"

Submitted by: Scot

Whats the funniest rumor you've ever heard?

Submitted by: James

My assistant has a big mouth

At a news conference a journalist said to a politician:
"Your assistant said publicly that you have a small p**nis. Would you please comment on this?"
The politician replied: "My assistant has a big mouth!"

Submitted by: Dave

rumour of a guy has a big

Submitted by: Farry

Ridiculous Rumours That Went Around Every School



he's into the Occult and performs Satanic rituals

He tortures cats

One time, in middle school, he stabbed a teacher with a pen

He once urinated in a cup trophy in the school's trophy case, and left it there (I actually had a friend who started this rumor about himself)

He robbed a convenience store with a water gun that had been painted to look like a real gun

There's a terrible rumor going around at school that's im a whore..?

Submitted by: Kate

That's how rumors get started


Bad news has good legs (quotes)
No matter what you do, someone always knew you would (quotes)

I'm shaving My privates right now

Submitted by: James

Comebacks


comebacks

Funny Logic


Funny Logic

Funny rumor jokes


funny rumor jokes

Funny advise


funny advise

Funny meaningful conversation


funny meaningful conversation

Are you an optimist or a pessimist?


Are you an optimist or a pessimist?

Funny embarrassing moments


Funny embarrassing moments

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