Does anyone have similar mother in law problem?
Submitted by: Terry
Just My LuckStanding at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water.
Unable to swim, the man screamed for help .A trout fisherman ran up.
The man said, "My wife is drowning and I can't swim.
Please save her. I'll give you a hundred dollars."
The fisherman dove into the water.
In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman,
put his arm around her, and swam back to shore.
Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said,
"Okay, where's my hundred dollars?"
The man said, "Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife.
But this is my mother-in-law."
The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, "Just my luck.
How much do I owe you?"
Submitted by: Kim
My mother-in-law getting her fangs sharped
Submitted by: Milly
Fresh out of gift ideasA gentleman, fresh out of gift ideas, bought his mother-in-law a large plot in an expensive cemetery. On her next birthday, he bought her nothing. She was quick to comment loud and long on his thoughtlessness.
He replied, "Well, you haven't used the gift I gave you last year."
Submitted by: Tom
Mother-in-Law Moving Lines
Submitted by: Rebica
relatives of yoursA couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the husband replied, "In-laws."
Submitted by: Gina
New window for Mother-in-law
Submitted by: Eric
I did that onceA man is waiting in line for a hit movie. Behind him are two women.
The usher comes along and says that he has two seats together.
Seeing the problem, the usher says to the man
, "Let them go first.
You wouldn't want to separate a woman from her mother, would you?"
The man says, "No, sir. I did that once,
and I've been sorry ever since."
Submitted by: Harris
Mother-in-Law's Day special
Submitted by: Dave
What are we going to do?A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs. awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.
The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife said, "What are we going to do?"
"Nothing," said the hunter husband, "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."
Submitted by: Cindy
Submitted by: Linda
I get all the thanksA married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So, the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on
and on about her youthful beauty!
One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."
"My darling," he replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."
Submitted by: Eric
How to see your mother-in-law in Better Light
Submitted by: Smith
Short oneWhat's a mixed feeling?
When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
The door bell rang the other night my mother in law was standing on the step .she said i want to stay here for a few days . so i said stay there then and shut the door.
My mother in laws cooking is so bad when i gave some to the dog he spent half an hour licking his a*se to get the taste out of his mouth
A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."
I know when my mother-in-law is coming, as the mice in the house start jumping on the mice traps.
Mother: So, you want to become my son-in-law?
Boy: Not really, but I don't see any other way to marry your daughter!
Submitted by: Flint
Mother-in-law in town
Submitted by: Rina
Mother-in-law Quality Spices
Submitted by: Vicky
He is eating the cakeA woman woke her husband in the middle of the night and told him "there is a burglar downstairs in the kitchen and he is eating the cake that my mother made for us."
The husband said, "who shall I call, the police or an ambulance?"
Submitted by: Norma
Take no chanceA lawyer cabled his client overseas:" Your mother in law passed away in her sleep. Shall we order burial, embalming or cremation?"
The reply came back:" Take no chances-order all three."
Submitted by: Philip
They always smell funny
Submitted by: Rita
WelcomeA man took his dog to the vet and asked the vet to cut off his tail. The vet wanted to know why.
"Because," said the man, "My mother in law is arriving tomorrow, and I don't want anything to make her think she's welcome."
Submitted by: Billy
I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the words "mother in law" you get the words "woman hitler". ( Quotes)
Submitted by: Fred
I thoughtPolice officer: "Excuse me Sir, did you realize your mother in law fell out of your car 2 miles back?"
Driver: "Thank God for that, I thought I'd gone deaf!"
Submitted by: Soul
Adam was the luckiest man; he had no mother-in-law. ( quotes)
Submitted by: Jill
I told herMy Mother In Law asked, "If you don't like me, why do you take me on holidays with you?" I told her, "So I don't have to kiss you good-bye."
Submitted by: Dippy
I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. (quotes)
Submitted by: Iris
Can my mother come down for the weekend?My wife said: 'Can my mother come down for the weekend?' So I said: 'Why?' and she said: 'Well, she's been up on the roof two weeks already'.
Submitted by: Bitty
According to My Mother-in-law Wisdom and Logic is....
Submitted by: Iris
Submitted by: Simian